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junglist for life [Jul. 12th, 2004|04:12 am]
[status: |mellowmellow]
[rockin: |Ill skillz be there 4 U]

We scored some absinthe..fun times I guess
Not as cool as I imagined it (no hallucinating or anything) but yea its fun.
Ive been a good girl..I stopped my speed addiction that I secretly had and no one knew about..now I just smoke pot and once in awhile eat some greasy nummy mushrooms. I dont even do e anymore(well at edc I did)..I find that after you try everything..it gets boring and you realize how stupid you are for doing it. I met so many speedfreaks that told me they did it to lose weight or for the rush. Well shit..go excercise fatass or go drive 150 a mile on the freeway for a rush. Yea, coachella was fun..kraftwerk (who we really came to see) was the shit..especially when they brought the robots out. Robots are my favorite. The crystal method fucking ripped it..so did radiohead. We mostly stayed in the raver tent though..it was the coolest..fucking hot..103 something degrees. Electric daisy carnival was fun too I guess..me, andy, ed and ishmael snuck weed in our shoes and red bulls in our pockets. Mel met felix da housecat which was neat. Nothing like smoking joints and listening to some house. The jungle line up wasnt that great.. same ol same ol dieselboy, ak1200 and dara..they play to much. Nocturnal wonderland is in september..rabbit in the moon, paul oakenfold and andy c. Andy C is pretty dope..and he isnt dieselboy for once..so we will be there. Security is brutal though..george bush fucking up the system..again. we are all making a trip to vegas in august for defcon as well. Last year was a blast..first time I ever did coke..probably one of the last time..I hate the feeling of it. BUt the parties and people you meet are fun and you learn a lot. I think I will bring my absinthe bottle..its our baby now haha.Yea so thats pretty much it..I goto work, goto my boyfriends and then goto parties. My mom says I play to much..but I dont think I do. My subs turned off yesterda b/c of the stupid wiring..sadness..but im getting my new cd player that folds out like 4 times and is crazy on friday. I wish I had some weed. its 4:20 dammit. We got a new pipe, its made of pyrex and it wont break..you can slam that shit on the ground and it doesnt do anything..its fun hehe. I wish we could do that to the bong. oh yea unknowndisk.org ..my boyfriends radio shoutcast..he plays his own music sometimes on there. We got the chris cunningham dvd from bem..im excited to burn it. He is a genius..absolute genius..to bad people cant understand experimental music or videos. I think I saw this guy zuri I "hung out" with in San diego at squarepusher in L.A about 3 months ago. I was to high to say hi..but it was odd if it was really high. Squarepusher is good live..now why wont aphex come..=( Anyways yes, my ranting crazy live journal..fun times. I want to move to london, please take me.I find it humorous that in san diego I was a worthless piece of crap..that pretended to have friends. I hung out with people who seemed to hate me but I needed them and tried to fit in. I just wanted them to hang out with me. Funny how really no one seems I am gone. I am really glad I moved here b/c its real. Life is real, no fake bullshit. I never wanted to move..and I hated it but now I realize what if I didnt move? what if I lived that fucking life..I never got to be myself. I kept everything secret..all the music I really liked..the curiousity of drugs and weird experimental things..my fanasticsm for computers..and the need for something else..I guess I have it now. haha im just high
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This monkey's gone to heaven [Apr. 25th, 2004|02:04 am]
[status: |predatorypredatory]
[rockin: |The Pixies - This Monkeys Gone To Heaven]

On my guestbook:

2004-04-14 13:40 (link)
Are you uncertain about yourself? Having troubles to give yourself an identity? Do you feel emo but have no clue what it is? Come to _hopesxfall and fill in an application. You will know who you are, you will know what you aren't. Don't be afraid, come and see.

Haha..yea I am so EMO!! HOLY SHIT.

*listens to dashboard and cuts herself*

Fuckin emo tards go advertise your trend elsewhere.

Anyways have a great day..that is all I wanted to say...
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YO [Feb. 20th, 2004|02:42 am]
[status: |dorkydorky]
[rockin: |Aphex Twin - Nannou]

Hah..had to let that out..
Bands/groups I am creaming my pants for to see at Coachella..

- The Cure%$%#$@$@!!!! (idols..legends..inspiration..gods?)

- KRAFTWERK (Only the fathers and founders of techno.)

- Radiohead (oh Thom)

- The Pixies (the inspiration for Nirvana..makers of gruge rock..)

- Le Tigre (riot grrls unite..Kathleen Hanna kicks booty)

- Atmosphere, Living Legends (with Murs?), Sage Francis, Prefuse 73, Hierofrickinglyphics (all my hip hop/IDM brothas up in herre..yay! haha)

and how could I forget the music that is my life..Electronic acts:

- THE CRYSTAL METHOD, Stereolab,Paul van Dyk, Seb Fontaine, BTTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTTT BT$@#$#$#$#@$#@$$#$, Mark Farina, Basement Jaxx, SANDER KLIENENBERG@#$(will always foremost love the techno.)

If only bjork and a few other acts were gonna be there..
And if the secret artist is David Bowie..UNF.
Yes, Im done being a crackhead now, must goto work.
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all is full of love. [Nov. 18th, 2003|03:48 pm]
[status: |lovedloved]
[rockin: |AK1200 - Drowning]

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Next time I promise we'll be perfect... [Sep. 11th, 2003|11:54 am]
[status: |hopefulhopeful]
[rockin: |Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight]

I was reading my livejournal with my friend at my house and I realized that I have entries from last year exactly at this time.It kinda tripped me out..because it doesnt seem like a year at all..Like I remember typing that in my bedroom in San Diego, and going and doing those things with friends. And of course I remember the way I felt..I was really sad during those times b/c of the guy I liked who I ended it with. Just crazy to me I guess. I never would have thought a year ago today I would be in Long Beach...or going out and doing the things that I do. Like some things I have never experienced there, I have been able to do so here. I am greatful for that..and I do miss San Diego at times. I get really homesick but then I figure if I did move back I would be homesick from here too. Like how I have adapted to my new surroundings and basically created a whole new life wasn't easy. I am kinda happy that it didnt take me so long to adjust like some others have trouble doing. It might not be all great like some of the things I do here..I party a lot more and try to ignore the responsibilities that I carry but what can I do about it is how I see it. Cassie..you need to come up here and visit and I'll get to show you everything..everywhere or whoever else wants to come up. It's like a whole different world up here! Yea, its September 11th..so it's kind of a dreary day but I hope everyone makes the most out of it and instead of mourning and focusing on the death..focus on the how brave those people were and how everyone came together that day and ignored all the other negative things in the world. The world..well..it stopped that day. Anyways, I'm going to Los Angeles with my mom to have like a bonding day thing I guess..I know by the time I get home I will be clinically insane but at least I am trying. Lately I have noticed there are so many good people in my life who are there for me. I never realized it... From people who are not there in physical form or friends who are sitting right across from me, it's just a good feeling. I always get into these bad situations and stuff but it works out eventually. I think I am so ready to go out to the world on my own..and be independent, be able to express myself without worrying what people will think or get shit for it..One thing I truly learned is nothing is permanent as it seems..so much change is all around us and we just have to accept it instead of trying to fight it.

Time is never time at all..
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed.
We will never be the same
The more you change , the less you feel
Believe , believe in me, believeee
That life can change , that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same , we're different tonight..
Tonight so bright.
And you know you're never sure
But you're sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in the city by the lake
The place where you were born
Believe , believe in me, believe , believe in mee
In the resolute urgency of now..
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight
Tonight so bright.
We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right , we'll feel it all tonight...
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight..
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you tonight. tonight...
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And you can everybody that this is your song.. [Aug. 1st, 2003|07:24 am]
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6 more hours till Vegas!! woot!
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(no subject) [Jul. 1st, 2003|03:26 am]
[status: |frustratedfrustrated]
[rockin: |Simple Plan - Addicted]

I always believed that if you had a problem and you even considered running away from it instead of facing it was so lame. Yet, I find myself a hypocrite I believe that..even though this makes me a bitch or a weak person..All I can do is run, run far away from everything that is troubling my mind..

This is gonna be complicated.
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Well, well, well..It's time to share and tell. [May. 18th, 2003|11:05 pm]
[status: |indescribableindescribable]
[rockin: |Paul Van Dyk - For An Angel]

Everytime I write in my livejournal I feel like all the pieces of this big puzzle of life are fitting into the right place. Then once Im about to finish with that one last piece, it somehow falls off the table and shatters into a trillian pieces. Then I get to lazy to pick them all up and let them sit there until I feel inspired to start over. Now, my inspiration comes from a various range of sources. Maybe music, maybe drugs or even people that I start to grow close too. Lately, I havent found any of these things to make me happy, or make me motivated and want to try to do something in life. I dropped out of college for this semester which makes me have all these indifferent feelings. I feel like the biggest loser in the world who couldnt keep up with 4 fucking classes..yet I feel relieved because I didnt feel like going or doing their stupid written work that was absolutely pointless. All I really want right now is my old life to fit into my new life. I was happy with my old life in San Diego, I had a lot of fun being with the people I love. Of course there was always drama and being here I dont have to deal with that which is a plus. Yet, I want friends that I can call up and see anytime I please no matter what they are doing, or having those spots on the beach or local cafe where I can go and meet people and people are just naturally warm. Los Angeles doesnt have that...if you go somewhere alone..you will be alone the whole night unless you get the courage to talk to someone. No one ever approaches you first and if they do maybe its for the time. In my mind I always have a hundred million thoughts going in my head so I always seem random especially when writing in this journal. I jump from everything to anything that is in my life and people always tell me they cant keep up or dont understand what Im ranting about. What I write in here perfectly makes sense to me. I find it as a therapy to express all the things I am too scared to say to people or admit to myself, I am always in denial. I hate reading livejournals that is all filled with "I went to the store today, and did this and that and yea tonight Im going to go here." I know I do that sometimes in my entries but its with good intentions. I dont think that many people care what I did in a day. Anyways, I dont want to be or preach..I am generally a happy person..or try to be. I just need to recognize what I need in my life to fulfill my goals and apply them. Also I need to think twice of all the negative choices I make that only result in heartache or pain. I always get warned by people to not do this..or that..and I have always been so stubborn and dont listen to them. I figure the puzzle will be all pieced together by itself with no help from me. I know I need to make changes in my life, not changes like where to live or anything but personal self-changes because I just keep finding out that history truly repeats itself. I keep feeling what I felt before..all the good feelings make me so happy and the bad ones I always try to forget sneak up on me. It has always seemed that I am happy and almost complete..then one bad thing happens. Then another bad thing happens..etc. etc. When it rains..it pours. I feel so guilty for being so concerned with my life and my future while people in other countries are starving, or being executed for wearing nail polish on their toes (Afghanistan) but I just cant help it. I just want to know what's lies in the future for me. I always have a plan but after 3 months it changes. Oh well, at least I always have a plan. Oh well...31 Flaverz is coming up and seriously I am going to let all my worries go and party my ass off next weekend. You only live once right?
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It was you who showed me how to fly.. [Mar. 31st, 2003|11:10 pm]
[status: |nostalgicnostalgic]
[rockin: |Four String - Diving]

Hmm..I havent wrote in my live journal for forever and a day. It's so cliched out, you see all these people go "oh read my live journal!!" and its obnoxious so I barely tell anyone. I am not going to force anyone to do anything they dont want too. Its 11 p.m and I am waiting for Steve (mob/skater from IRC)to page me so we can goto a bar and play pool. Last time we met he hit the back of my car with his Jeep because he was so plastered..THANKS STEVE your worse than my AIM stalker!! Ever since I met my new friends Ellen and Marissa, moving so far hasnt been so bad until this week. They are both over 21 so they can get into anywhere like bars, clubs, raves etc. so everyone that cards them assumes I'm 21. Plus having a fake I.D helps out, I guess I am 21 now! But ever since Ellen started going out with her ex-boyfriend she is always occupied so I just sit here and argue with my mom or go to work. Oh Cassie! My store sells the 4th highest frappucinos out of six thousand stores and it's the first ddrive-thru Starbucks in California. You know how fun it is? You can actually see the bros in their lifted trucks and the bro hoes in their new little Focus' and Jetta's before they even order. Good times. I have had like 4 hours of sleep in the past 4 days so I am burnt out and I can feel it messing with my emotions. The past couple of days me and my mom have been totally going at it because she totaled her car while going to work and broke her arm. She was supposed to move out three days ago but since the accident she is staying here just ONE MORE WEEK for me to be her slave..er I mean nurse. She keeps trying to take my car and it is pissing me off so much, she wants me to get my own and we pay half and half so I am think of either getting A)Mitshubushi Eclipse B)Ford Celica C) Hyandui Tiburon or a Honda Civic. But I think I will miss my Accent to much, I mean sportin the 'pimp daddy gold' is punk rock. Speaking of punk rock posers, I dyed my hair today all black with light reddish streaks. It doesnt look as good as I wanted it to be but it is different b/c I am used to having dirty blonde hair. I am thinking of getting bangs but I am kind of scared to do this whole new look. It isnt like I am trying to impress anyone...(well maybe the guy that works at Starbucks but I think he is a homo.) I am listening to The Crow soundtrack for the 100th time ever right now, it is so dark in a underground way yet so enlightening to me. Ofc it has bands like NIN, Violent Femmes and The Cure on it. I am changing into this weird person, I think livin in the ghetto is doing it to me and I dont know what to do. I tried convincing my doctor to put me on valiums or something but he put me on birth control instead! HAHA!! Thats when you know your fucked in the head =). Anyways I am going to go smoke a cigarette now and maybe walk to the beach to go into deep trance-like state while drinking some berr. I miss you guys in San Diego so much and as soon I get this car/living situation figured out I will go down there so we can go to a hookah lounge or TJ!! Anyways, I am not going to turn into a live journal whore so bye! Oh yea, Linkin Park and Radioheads new CD's are awesome so get them..
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Please come with me..see what I see..touch the stars for time will not blink... [Feb. 16th, 2003|07:05 am]
[status: |lonelylonely]
[rockin: |Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams]

1. Do you wear a watch?: Nope
2. How many coats and jackets do you own?: About twenty
3. Favorite pants/skirt color?: Black or denim
4. Most expensive item of clothing?: Suede leather jacket (do shoes count?)
5. What kind of shoes do you wear?: Flip-flops, dress shoes, skate shoes, converse

1. Do your friends 'know' you?: A couple of them
2. What do they tend to be like?: Supporting, funny, bitchy, lovable, goofy
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked?: I don't know..have to ask my friends!
4. How many people do you tell everything to?: One or two..then the rest find out =)

1. Favorite band ever?: Nsync (yes I know..I was like 16..bite me)
2. Most listened to music: DJ Tiesto, Enigma, Orbital, Four Strings, Faithless, Paul Van Dyk, Weezer, Alice Deejay, DJ Irene, Moby, BT, ATB, Who Da Funk, John Mayer, Tori Amos, The Cure, Depeche Mode, The Police, The Faint...everything!
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking?: BT is hot
4. Can you play an instrument?: The flute and clarinet
5. Type of music never listened to?: New school jazz is horrible.

1. Who is the smartest person alive at the moment?:
Me..always me..duh..=)
2. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day?: Sunny, but not to hot
3. Do you consider yourself lucky?: At times..
4. Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide?: No
5. Choose one word to describe how you feel most often: Confused..

1. Do you own any plaid clothing?: No!!! I got rid of that six years ago
2. Do you own converse shoes?: Yes
3. Do you own saucony shoes?: Nope but I would like some *hint*
4. Do you own old school nikes?: Nope
5. Do you wear tight pants?: Once in a while
6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: Nope
7. Do you know what a squatter flap is?: I don't want to know..
8. Do you own a messenger bag?: Yes for school (when I go)
9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest?: Yes, but sometimes it hurts my chestal area
10. Do you own braces?: I used to
11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth?: Sure why not
12. Do you have short, shaggy hair?: No
13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches?: Yes
14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon?: It's drop dead gorgeous..yes..
15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: Nope
16. Is your hair black or red?: No its my natural dirty brown with blonde highlights but I want to dye it black AND red!
17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye?: Manic Panic yo
18. Do you own a bandana?: Three
19. Do you wear plugs in your ears?: Nope
20. Are you amused by safety pins?: I stick them in my tounge as a magic trick hehe
21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?: Nope
22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: Studded belt and necklaces..kinky huh?
23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from dogpile, lip service, or tiger of london?: Nope
24. Do you enjoy leopard print?: I used to like zebra stripes...
25. Are you disgruntled?: Sometimes
26. Are you an anarchist?: Nope, U.S.A=#1
27. Does the american flag anger you?: Nope
28. Are you "working class"?: Yes, I work my po' ass off
29. Do you dislike "preps"?: Sometimes
30. Do you dislike Hot Topic?: You mean Bop Topic..yes
31. Do you smoke cigarettes?: Yes, yes and yes!
32. Do you smoke cloves?: Sometimes when Im in the mood..sheesha is better
33. Are you a thin waif?: Yea right
34. Are you vegan/vegetarian?: Nope..steak..mm
35. Do you think meat is murder?: Nope
38. Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: Almost
39. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor?: I always smell like coffee..so most likely
40. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: Nope
41. Do you like Mr. Kerouac?: ...Sure
42. Are you a member of the makeout club?: When I'm drunk or on drugs
43. Do you say "rad"?: Its all about the k-rad

1. Name: Margaret
2. Do you like it?: Not MARGE!!
3. Nick-names: Maggy, Mags, Magical, Marge, Magpie, Gus Gus, MC Shock G
4. Screen names: MaggyIsAStar or just Maggy
5. Age: 19
6. Birthday: October 10, 1983
7. Sign: Libra
8. Location: Long Beach, CA (the ghetto yo!)
10. Status: Sadly single *sigh*
11. Crush: I am so over human beings
12. Virgin?: Born again!
13. Natural hair color: Dirty blonde
14. Current hair color: Same with highlights
15. Eye color: Dark brown
16. Height: almost 5'6" and a half.
17. Weight: Yea right..
18. Birthplace: San Diego, CA is my stomping grounds
19. Shoe size: 8

1. Parents: Mom=evil religious freak
2. Siblings: 2 brothers who I adore
3. Live with: My nemesis
4. Favorite relative: My two year old niece Madison

1. Number: Ten
2. Colour: Blue and silver
3. Day: Friday
4. Month: October
5. Song: I have lots of fave songs to pick just one..
6. Movie: The Crow, The Beach, Requiem for a Dream, Amelie, Moulin Rouge, , Princess Bride, Unbreakable, Muholland Drive, Go, LOTR, The Matrix, Y Tu Mama Tambien..
7. Food: Italian
8. Band: Nsync
9. Sport: Water polo, and swim...some baseball
10. Class: Art history
11. Teacher: De Konning (she is hot)
12. Drink: Berr or Southern Comfort
13. Veggie: Buttered peas and corn
14. Tv station: WB..Smallville w00t
15. Radio station: 103.1 or 91.x
16. Store: Starbucks
17. Expression: Self-expression rocks..
18. Animal: Cat
19. Flower: Hibiscus
20. State: New York
21. Favorite Quote: "Computer games don’t affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids,
we’d all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills
and listening to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo Inc., 1989

"Open your heart and push the limits"
1. Me or you: Me
2. Coke or pepsi: Coke
3. Day or night: Night owl for life
4. AOL or AIM: AIM
5. CD or cassette: CD
6. DVD or VHS: DVD
7. Jeans or khakis: Jeans
8. Car or truck: Car
9. Tall or short: Tall boys!
10. Lunch or dinner: Dinner
11. *Nsync or BSB?: NSYNC!@!##!@!
12. Gap or Old Navy: Old Navy
13. Lipstick or lipgloss: Lipgloss
14. Silver or gold: Silver
15. Alcohol or weed: Alcoholics..

1. Do you have a bf/gf?: Nope
2. Do you have a crush?: Naw, I have given up
3. How long have you liked him/her: Bow
4. Why do you like this person?: Down
5. If you're single, why are you single?: B/c I suck?
6. How long was your longest relationship?: I have 90 more years to live..let me get back to you..
7. How long was your shortest relationship?: A few days
8. Who was your 1st love?: Ryan Daniels <3
9. What do you miss about them?: Oh Ryan, oh Ryan...*sigh*

1. What is the one thing you would change about your past?:Everything and nothing
2. What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: I have made so many mistakes, some have turned out for the good..some havent.
3. Last thing you heard: Music playing
4. Last thing you saw: The computer screen?
5. Last thing you said: I yawned and sighed..does that count?
6. What is the last TV show you saw?: Smallville
7. What is the last song you heard?: Ice Cube - Bow Down (hehehe)

1. Saw?: My mother
2. Kissed?: Hmm..they dont count
3. Who is the last person you hugged?: Ed!
4. Fought with?: The person I'm always fighting with and for..
5. Were on the phone with?: Cassie

1. What are you wearing?: Black shirt with dark jeans
2. What are you doing?: Typing, thinking about work
3. Who are you talking to?: Nukkahs from IRC
4. What song are you listening to?: Chevelle - The Red
5. Where are you?: My dungeon
6. Who are you with?: No one..
7. Are you online?: No shit..
8. How are you feeling?: Indifferent..no comment..
9. Are you in a chatroom?: Ofc

1. What day is it tomorrow?: Monday
2. What are you going to do after this?: Work at 4 am..good times.
3. Who are you going to talk to?: Myself..again =)
4. Where are you going to go?: To hell..er I mean work
5. How old will you be when you graduate?: About 22 or 23
6. What do you wanna be?: Someone that deals with art history
7. What is one of your dreams?: To live life right
8. Where will you be in 25 years?: Only time..

1. Do you write in cursive or print?: Both
2. Are you a lefty or a righty?: Right
3. What is your sexual preference?: Boys, plants, animals..whatever ;)
4. What piercings do you have?: Tounge, monroe, cartiledge, ears
5. Do you drive?: Black VW Jetta
6. Do you have glasses or braces?: Glasses..and contacts yo
I cant help being blind as fuck =)
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